Reality is Setting In

Mother and Child-Gustave Klimt, 1905
Well, it really is setting in, the reality of being a Mom in a few weeks. There are days when I go through the really happy emotions, literally floating on cloud nine. Then, there are the days when my heart fills with fear...the fear of being a good Mom, the fear of holding Maya too tight, the fear of dropping her, the fear of her not loving me, and most of all, the fear of making every mistake that I am trying my best not to make.
The Lamaze Technique is a prepared childbirth technique developed in the 1940s by French obstetrician Dr. Fernand Lamaze as an alternative to the use of medical intervention during labor. Dr. Lamaze was influenced by Soviet childbirth practices, which involved breathing and relaxation techniques under the supervision of a "monitrice" or midwife. (www.wikipedia.com)
On Monday Brad and I went to our first Lamaze class. There were about ten other couples, some of whom we had met in our prior classes. The purpose of this class was to educate us on and ease our fears of the delivery process. My biggest fear is the length of labor and the pain associated with it. I keep hearing about epidurals and how they ease the process; alongside with that I hear about how the epidural can cause the baby to become dopey and non responsive. So many views, so many options, and so many decisions to make. We learned about signs of false labor vs. true labor, how to breathe and relax, and the art of touching. Everyone in the class is at the same point...nervous and yearning for anything that might alleviate the fear of the unknown. One of the things that Tarzana Regional Medical Center provides is great teachers. Wendy was our coach last night and she was very realistic, yet very reassuring.
Maya is still moving around frequently...a sign that she is still in her holding pattern. My sugar levels are holding steady. I now awake every two hours to make a pit stop. And, the heaviness of my body has become more evident. I am moving on all cylinders right now when it comes to being stressed out. The nursery can't be completed fast enough, my bag can't be packed fast enough, the due date can't get here fast enough...Hope that this adrenaline keeps me going when it comes to that final push.